FAQs

A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) is someone with a heightened or amplified nervous system. This leads to a deeper processing of internal and external stimuli. HSPs tend to be more aware of subtleties in their environment, the emotions of others, and their own emotions.

HSPs make up 20% of society, they operate in a world created for the other 80%  of the population who are not highly sensitive.

Dr  Elaine Aron uses the acronym D.O.E.S to describe the characteristics of HSPs.

Here's a breakdown of how HSPs (Highly Sensitive People) can benefit from life coaching:

Understanding Themselves:

Self-discovery: A coach can guide HSPs in exploring their unique traits, strengths, and challenges associated with their sensitivity.

Validation: Having a coach who understands HSP can be incredibly validating for someone who might have felt misunderstood or different throughout their life.

Managing Challenges:

Overwhelm Management: Coaches equip HSPs with tools and techniques to manage sensory overload, emotional intensity, and social overwhelm.

Building Boundaries: Setting healthy boundaries is crucial for HSPs. A coach can help them develop assertive communication skills to protect their energy.

Self-Care Practices: HSPs often prioritize others' needs over their own. A coach can help them identify self-care strategies that truly nourish them.

Building Confidence and Self-Esteem:

Positive Self-Talk: Coaches can help HSPs replace negative self-criticism with self-compassion and positive affirmations.

Goal Setting and Achievement: Working with a coach allows HSPs to set achievable goals that celebrate their unique strengths and build confidence.

Embracing Sensitivity: A coach can help HSPs reframe their sensitivity as a superpower, not a weakness.

Overall Well-Being:

Life Transitions: Life changes can be particularly challenging for HSPs. A coach provides support and guidance during transitions like career shifts, relationships, or parenthood.

Finding Purpose and Fulfilment: HSPs often have a deep desire for meaning. A coach can help them discover their passions and create a life aligned with their values.

Healthy Relationships: HSPs can struggle with navigating social interactions. A coach can equip them with tools for building and maintaining healthy relationships.

Additionally, a life coach who specialises in HSPs will:

• Be familiar with the research on HSPs.
• Tailor their approach to the specific needs of each HSP client.
• Create a safe and supportive space for HSPs to explore their experiences.

By working with a life coach who understands HSPs, individuals can learn to thrive with their sensitivity and create a life of purpose, fulfilment, and deep satisfaction.

Introverts and HSPs are distinct.

Some HSPs are introverts who need solitude to recharge, and others are extroverts who thrive on social interaction but are still easily drained by over stimulation.

Introverts gain energy from spending time alone, while HSPs need downtime to process stimulation, regardless of whether we are social or introverted.

One in five people possess the HSP trait, making it quite common.

It is important to distinguish HSP from autism spectrum disorder (ASD), sensory processing disorder (SPD), or mental illness. While HSP can lead to feeling overwhelmed, it's a distinct characteristic.

There are some misunderstandings regarding HSP, SPD and the Autism Spectrum. The depth of emotions and sensitivity of HSPs can be misinterpreted, leading to misdiagnosis or frustration.

Nurturing is important for HSPs. When supported and understood, HSPs can thrive and use their sensitivity for good.

HSPs Leadership potential is huge. Their unique perspective and empathy can make them effective leaders who inspire change.

There are many suitable career paths for HSPs.  There are a variety of professions where HSP can be a strength: philosophers, artists, politicians, authors, teachers, healers, and spiritual advisors. All these roles benefit from deep thinking, empathy, and a desire to connect with others.

Here are some common signs:

• You are easily overwhelmed by crowds, noise, bright lights, or strong smells.

• You tend to pick up on the moods of others and can be affected by them.
• You have a rich inner life and are deeply moved by art, music, or nature.
• You need extra time alone to unwind and de-stimulate.
• You are highly conscientious and often put the needs of others before your own.
• You are easily overwhelmed by crowds, loud noises, bright lights, or strong smells.
• You are deeply affected by the moods of others and tend to be highly empathetic.
• You are very conscientious and detail-oriented.
• You have a rich and complex inner life.
• You are easily startled or frightened.

There are many benefits.

HSPs often have a strong sense of empathy, intuition, and creativity. They can be very detail-oriented and conscientious. They also have a deep appreciation for beauty and a strong connection to nature.

Highly sensitive people (HSPs) experience the world with a deeper intensity, which comes with its own set of challenges. Here are some of the main ones:

Over-stimulation: Depth of processing is the main contributor to over-stimulation. In addition, HSPs are more susceptible to feeling overwhelmed by sensory input. Crowded places, loud noises, bright lights, and even strong emotions can be draining. This can lead to fatigue, anxiety, and difficulty concentrating. Depth of processing is the main contributor to over-stimulation.

Emotional Intensity: HSPs tend to feel emotions more deeply, both their own and those of others. This can be a blessing (empathy) and a curse (easily hurt or upset). They may pick up on subtle emotional cues that others miss, but it can also leave them feeling emotionally drained.

Difficulty with Criticism: HSPs can be very sensitive to criticism, even constructive feedback. Their sensitivity can make them feel like they're constantly being judged, leading to self-doubt and anxiety.

Need for Downtime: HSPs need more quiet time and solitude to recharge after social interaction or stimulating environments. This can be challenging in a world that often values constant busyness.

Misunderstandings: Because they process information more deeply, HSPs can be seen as shy, introverted, or even withdrawn. This can lead to feelings of isolation and a struggle to connect with others who don't understand their sensitivity.

In addition to these core challenges, HSPs may also face:

Decision Fatigue: The constant processing of information can make it difficult to make decisions, leading to analysis paralysis.

People-Pleasing: Our empathy can make us overly concerned with pleasing others, neglecting their own needs.

Conflict Aversion: HSPs may avoid conflict due to our sensitivity to negativity and strong emotions.

It's important to remember that high sensitivity is a spectrum, and not all HSPs will experience all of these challenges to the same degree. However, by understanding these potential difficulties, HSPs can develop strategies to cope and thrive in a world that can sometimes feel overwhelming.

Raising a highly sensitive child (HSC) can be both rewarding and demanding. Here are some common challenges parents of HSP children face:

Sensory Overload: The HSC pick up on sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures more intensely. This can lead to meltdowns in overstimulating environments like crowded stores or birthday parties.

Emotional Intensity: A HSC tend to feel emotions deeply, both positive and negative. They might cry easily at perceived injustices or get overwhelmed by strong emotions of others.

Frustration Tolerance: Challenges and setbacks can be very difficult for HSP children. Their lower frustration tolerance can lead to meltdowns or discouragement.

Social Interactions: HSP children may find navigating social situations tricky. Large groups, criticism, or competitiveness can be overwhelming. They might prefer smaller groups of close friends.

Self-Doubt and Perfectionism: HSP children often have a strong desire to please others and can be quite critical of themselves. This can lead to perfectionism and anxiety about making mistakes.

Feeling Different: HSP children might feel misunderstood or different from their peers. This can be tough for them, especially during the school years.

Parents' Doubts and Challenges: Parents of HSP children may question their parenting or feel frustrated by their child's meltdowns. It can be challenging to find the right balance between providing support and encouraging independence.

Remember, being highly sensitive is a trait, not a disorder. With understanding and the right parenting strategies, you can help your HSP child thrive.

Here are some resources that you might find helpful:

Highly Sensitive Child

Tips for parents of highly sensitive children

There are many strategies HSPs can use to manage over-stimulation. Here are a few examples:

Create a calming environment: This could include dimming lights, using noise-canceling headphones, or spending time in nature.

Set boundaries: Learn to say no to requests that would leave you feeling drained.

Practice relaxation techniques: Techniques like meditation, deep breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation can be helpful.

Schedule downtime: Make sure to factor in regular breaks and time alone to recharge.

Create a calming environment: This could include having a designated quiet space in your home and creating relaxing routines.

Embrace Your Strengths: HSPs have many gifts, such as empathy, creativity, and a deep appreciation for beauty. We are often highly creative, compassionate, and insightful.

Identify your triggers: Learn what overwhelms you and develop strategies to manage those situations.

Minimize Over-stimulation: Create a calming environment at home and take breaks throughout the day.

Practice Self-Care: Prioritise activities that promote relaxation and well-being, like meditation or spending time in nature.

Seek Support: Connect with other HSPs or a coach/counselor or therapist who understands the trait.

Set Boundaries: Learn to say no and protect your energy by setting healthy boundaries.

Book list to get you started - this is not an exhaustive list!

The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron

The Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine Aron

The highly sensitive parent by Elaine N Aron

The Highly Sensitive Person in Love by Elaine Aron

The undervalued self by Elaine Aron; Restore your love/power balance, transform the inner voice that holds you back, find your true self worth

The Highly Sensitive Person's Workbook by Elaine Aron

The Strong, Sensitive Boy by Ted Zeff; Help Your Son Become a Happy, Confident Man

The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide by Ted Zeff; Essential Skills for Living Well in an Over stimulating World

Highly Sensitive Person's Companion by Ted Zeff; Daily Exercises for Calming Your Senses in an Over stimulating World

The Artists Way by Julia Cameron

The art of extreme self-care by Cheryl Richardson

The brain of the Highly Sensitive Person by Esther Bergsma

The career guide for creative and unconventional people by Carol Eikelberry

The highly sensitive man by Tom Falkenstein

Thrive by Tracy Cooper. The high sensation seeking HSP

An adult child's guide to what's normal by John and Linda Friel

Psychotherapy and the Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N Aron. Improving outcomes for that minority of people who are the majority of clients.

Resources - a list of experts and websites that you may find helpful

Dr Elaine Aron  - website

Tracy Cooper  - website

Tom Falkenstein - website

Alane Freund - website

Jadzia Jagiellowicz - website

Jacquelyn Strickland - website

Alice Shannon - website

Barbara Allen-Williams - website

Sensitivity research - website

Other resources:

Elaine Aron and high sensitivity - facebook page

Sensitive, the Movie - facebook page

Interview - Psychwire, interview from October 2020

2013 Lecture by Elaine Aron in Wellington New Zealand - 2013 lecture

Sensitive parents of highly sensitive children - yahoo group

High Sensation Seeker (HSS): This describes someone who craves intense, varied, and novel experiences. They are drawn to stimulation, excitement, and even risk-taking activities. Routine and predictability can be boring for them.

Challenges of Being an HSS-HSP:

Being both an HSP and HSS can create a unique set of challenges:

Internal Conflict: The desire for excitement (HSS) clashes with the need to avoid over-stimulation (HSP). This can lead to frustration and feeling held back.

Difficulty with Self-Care: HSS-HSPs crave stimulation and might struggle with activities like meditation and rest, which are crucial for managing their sensitivity.

Decision Fatigue: Constantly seeking new experiences can be draining, leading to decision fatigue and difficulty focusing.

Advantages of Being an HSS-HSP:

Despite the challenges, there are also some advantages to being an HSS-HSP:

Rich Experiences: Their sensitivity allows them to appreciate experiences more deeply, while their HSS side helps them seek out new and exciting things.

Creativity and Openness: Their desire for novelty and openness to new experiences can fuel creativity and innovation.

Empathy and Depth: Their sensitivity allows them to connect with others on a deeper level and understand their emotions.

Finding Balance:

The key for HSS-HSPs is to find a balance between their need for stimulation and their need for rest. Here are some tips:

Mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness can help them become more aware of their internal state and choose activities that are nourishing.

Controlled Novelty: Seek new experiences in controlled environments or find activities that provide intense experiences without being overwhelming.

Creative Outlets: Expressing their energy through creative pursuits can be a healthy way to satisfy their HSS side.

Prioritize Downtime: Regular breaks and downtime are crucial for managing their sensitivity.

Understanding this unique combination of traits can help HSS-HSPs create a fulfilling life that is both stimulating and balanced.

The connection between HSPs (Highly Sensitive People) and mirror neurons is based on the idea that HSPs have more active mirror neurons compared to the general population.

Here's a breakdown of the key points:

Mirror Neurons: These are brain cells that activate when we observe someone else's actions or emotions. They essentially "mirror" the experience, allowing us to understand and empathize with others.

HSPs and Increased Activity: Research suggests that HSPs have higher levels of activity in mirror neurons. This heightened activity is believed to contribute to some of the core characteristics of HSPs.

What does this mean for HSPs?

Deep Empathy: HSPs often experience emotions, both positive and negative, more intensely than others. This can be due to their mirror neurons firing more readily, mirroring the emotions they observe.

Strong Social Awareness: The increased activity in mirror neurons might make HSPs more attuned to subtle social cues like body language and tone. This can be a strength in social settings but also lead to feeling overwhelmed in stimulating environments.

Rich Inner World: Active mirror neurons might contribute to a vivid imagination and a deeper understanding of human emotions in HSPs.

It's important to note:

The connection between HSPs and mirror neurons is a developing area of research. More studies are needed to fully understand the cause-and-effect relationship.

Not all HSPs will experience the same level of empathy or social awareness. These are just some potential effects of increased mirror neuron activity.

The takeaway:

Understanding the potential link between HSPs and mirror neurons can be empowering. It helps HSPs:

Explain their experiences: The concept of mirror neurons can offer a scientific explanation for why HSPs might feel things more intensely.

Develop coping mechanisms: Knowing their triggers (sensory overload, emotional intensity) allows HSPs to create strategies to manage these challenges.

Embrace their strengths: Deep empathy, social awareness, and a rich inner world are all strengths that stem from the HSP experience.

HSPs process social cues more intensely due to their active mirror neurons and sensitive nervous system.  This can influence their decisions making in social contexts in a few ways:

Considering other's emotions: HSPs often weigh how their choices might impact others' feelings.  This empathy can be a strength, fostering considerate decisions, but it can also lead to decision fatigue if not managed well.

Over-stimulation in groups: Social settings can be overwhelming for HSPs due to the abundance of stimuli.  This might make it difficult to focus on decision-making in group settings.

Taking more time: HSPs may take longer to make decisions in social contexts as they gather information, consider various viewpoints, and process the emotional undercurrents.

Here are some tips for HSPs navigating social decision-making:

Prioritise self-care: ensure you're well rested and centred before social interactions to optimise your decision making capacity.

Communicate needs: Express your need for time to process information or gather input before a decision is finalised.

Trust your gut: HSPs often have strong intuition.  Pay attention to your gut feelings as you weigh the options.